Last Saturday I was all alone, just me and the dog.  So I did what any girl does when she’s all alone: ate poorly and watched trash TV.  Not sure how this is different from any other night for me, but let’s pretend.  I ate one of those chocolate chip muffins you buy at the grocery bakery; which I’m sure did more damage to the ever-growing muffin top I already have.

The only thing on TV was 17 Again with Zac Efron and Matthew Perry.  I had pretty low expectations going in; but was quickly proved wrong.  It was HILARIOUS!  I’d never seen a Zac Efron movie, nor understood the fascination surrounding him; but I sure do now!  Holy hell he’s hot!  I feel dirty even writing this, isn’t he 16 or something?  God I feel old; not that 17 was all that long ago but it was long enough.  Speaking of which, when I was 17 my grad date and I made a pact we would marry one another if we were both alone at 30 – I’m going to his wedding next Friday.  You think I could get Zac Efron to be my new back up?  30 is fast approaching and a girl always needs a backup. If my current boyfriend is reading this post I’d like to say I’m drunk.

I HATE coffee, I absolutely detest it.  To me, coffee tastes like polluted water or engine oil.  BLECH!  I realize I’m in the minority when I write this so I’ll tread carefully.  The only downside to travelling in America is they don’t do tea properly!  The whole week all I wanted was a regular tea, orange pekoe.  Some Tetley or Red Rose just a regular tea with some milk and sugar, no bells or whistles.  I don’t know how many restaurants and cafes I went to that had no idea what I was talking about.  Everything was ginger this and green tea that, peppermint passionfruit gobbledy guck.  Moral of the story, pack the Tetley when going on vacation.

Remote controls are quickly becoming the bane of my existence.  I have too  many remotes, so many in fact I had to buy a decorative bowl to store them all in.  My coffee table was looking too much like a computer lab.  I have remotes for the TV, satellite box, stereo, dvd player, fan, fireplace.  It’s so stupid.  The worst part is replacing all the batteries!  My boyfriend’s house is no better, he has one of those remotes that does everything; each button works a different electronic.  THIS DOESN’T HELP!  Now I have to remember which button does what.  Does the power button turn on the TV, does the plus button turn on the PVR, the volume button turn on the Blu Ray?  Don’t even ask me how to turn up the volume on the audio thingy.  Too much to remember!  I just want to watch my stories goddammit!  Is that too much to ask?

I was in Paris a few summers’ ago and one sunny afternoon I walked past the famous Paul & Joe boutique and saw this TO DIE FOR emerald green satin opera coat in the window and had to have it.  Of course, the only sizes left were for rather large opera goers; they only had a cream coat left in my size.  Now I must have been on the emerald coat high still, because I purchased the €600 jacket.  As soon as I got back to the hotel I regretted the purchase.

I returned to the boutique the following day and they refused to take it back.  I threw a hissy fit and started yelling at the Manager.  Finally they offered me store credit.  Now the polite thing to do would have been to quickly find a dress or three and get the hell outta there.  Well I’m not polite, I made those fockers bring me EVERY single thing in my size whether I intended to buy or not.  I spent HOURS in there and enjoyed every minute of it.  Once I saw they got my point it started to get funny.

I walked out with 3 pairs of Citizen of Humanity jeans that I absolutely adored and still wear today.  The moral of this story is never trust the French; and if you end up getting screwed by them sink as low as you can to get your own back.

They say a picture’s worth a thousand words.  Well this one only has seven, but for me it’s just as powerful. I am trying VERY hard to see the glass as half full these days.  Some days are a lot harder than others; especially when the universe decides to put a whole in the bottom of the glass.  I have this picture as my desktop on my laptop to help reign me in whenever I feel the urge to word vomit on my loved ones about my workplace woes.  So now I am passing it on to you, whenever you feel the world is dumping on you, just refer back to the picture and let it all go.  If after that you still feel like shit, then pour yourself a rather large glass of wine.  As Homer Simpson once said, “Alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.”

I think allergies are Mother Nature’s way of getting back at us for screwing with her planet. She makes us suffer because we cut down trees, pollute the air, kill bugs and spill oodles of oil into the Gulf of Mexico. It’s her way of saying, “fuck you”.  I never used to suffer from allergies, but the past few years I spend every morning emptying my nose into a box of tissues. Last month I was admiring my awesomeness in the mirror and noticed my nose ring was missing. The only thing I can think of was I lost it in some snot infused tissue. The hole itself had closed up because it took too long for me to notice. Although I wonder how that’s even possible as I’ve had my nose pierced for almost ten years.  The fact that it can close up in a week is pretty pathetic. Ugh, there goes another $60 getting it replaced.  I hate you Mother Nature. I don’t deserve this; I recycle all the time and totally break for animals.

Mother’s Day is this Sunday.  This is an important occasion; it’s every daughter and son’s chance to pay back the woman that raised them. To show her that we are grateful for all that she has done for us. Although how could we forget, if your Mother is anything like mine; you are reminded daily how fortunate you are to have her. That she got stretch marks from us and we ruined her flat stomach and put her through hours of painful labor.  So if you’re stuck for ideas of how to honor and pay back your Mother on Sunday here are a few ideas:

A FRAME FULL OF MEMORIES – A digital picture frame is always a great idea.  Future shop has a wide selection priced anywhere from $49-$159.  To make the moment even more special, fill the picture frame with pictures of you and your mom and then put it back in the box.  That way, when she opens the gift, all she has to do is plug it in.

HIGH TEA – The Secret Garden Tea House is a great place to take your mom on Mother’s Day. Seeing as it might be one of the busiest times of the year, maybe get her a gift certificate or make a date for later in the month.  It’s always nice to catch up with your mom while drinking tea and eating desserts!

SEASONS IN THE PARK – Now that the days are prettier outside take your mom out to Seasons in the Park.  It’s a fabulous restaurant with stunning views of the city.  If it’s warm enough definitely get a patio seat.

MOVIE NIGHT – DVD’s are always a great idea; but instead of just buying her favourite movies, set up a date night.  So it’s you, her and some serious chick flicks!  I recommend It’s Complicated, Julie & Julia, and Mommie Dearest.

BEAUTIFICATION – Facials and mani/pedi’s are always a big winner with Mom’s.  But don’t forget that you and your mom can get your hair did for around $30 at Blo blow dry bar this Mother’s Day.  Blo also sells Good Hair Dayz satin pillowcases; that’s a gift that keeps on giving, and it’s only $30 too!

SUGAR MOMMIES - Moms definitely have a sweet tooth, and nothing says I love you more than giant, colorful, yummy cupcakes!  They’re only $16 for a half dozen at Cupcakes.

BOOKS - If your mom is a big reader than try these titles on for size: Summer at Tiffany by Marjorie Hart, My Life in France by Julia Child, Vanity Fair Portraits.

Hopefully this has helped you, or given you an idea of what to get for Mom this Mother’s Day.  If all else fails just buy her a gigantic bouquet of flowers!  Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms and Moms to be out there!

Yesterday I had my first Olympic experience.  I attended the women’s 500m speed skating event at the Richmond Oval.  WOW.  It was such a rush being there and watching those ladies.  I couldn’t get over their muscles; they had thighs that could crack boulders!  They were skating up to 60km/hr, making it look effortless.  I have to say though, seeing all those muscular legs made me feel a little inadequate.  I’ve been running 5km, 3 times a week and was beginning to think I was this fit chick.  After only 5 minutes of watching the speed skaters I was on my way to the concession for a greasy pizza to console myself.

At the first intermission I ran to see what fashions were to be had.  You can’t go to an Olympic event without picking up a few souvenirs – well I can’t anyways.  (I’m the person who spends more time in the museum gift shop than in the exhibits).  I ended up buying an adorable white and red toque and three Olympic pins.  DON’T LAUGH, I am NOT a collector.  I actually have no idea what came over me.  I bought one just as a keepsake, but another caught my eye so I bought it.  At the second intermission I ran back and bought a third!  It was like crack, I couldn’t stop myself.  I spent $30 on pins, that’s nine chai latte’s, that’s a blo out, that’s a Wilfred hat from Aritzia for god sakes!

OK back to the event itself.  When did the Dutch take over Vancouver?  The entire oval was PACKED with Dutch fans, they almost outnumbered the Canadians!  It was hurting my eyes seeing all that color in the stands.  Red and orange totally clash and should never be that close together.  Besides getting to see the athletes race first-hand; the best part was the crowd coming together to cheer Canada on.  As soon as a Canadian was up, everyone was screaming and jumping.  Such an amazing experience; I loved every minute of it.  Except the pepperoni pizza I had, that was the low point of the day.  So much for going organic.  My next Olympic experience is tomorrow, I’ll be at the Canada vs. Switzerland hockey game.  I’m heading down early to soak up all the touristy things one can do.  I’m chomping at the bit to try the zip line.  I’ll have to wait and see if I have the patience to stand in line for 4hrs with actual tourists.  Who knows maybe I’ll make some Dutch friends.

It’s been done, my grape has been popped!  With the help of my wine coach from Everything Wine we decided to start with whites.  She recommended a popular chardonnay and a sauvignon blanc.  When you’re a real novice the only thing to do is to start drinking!  Tonight I tried the Oyster Bay Marlborough sauvignon blanc from New Zealand.  Now sauvignon blanc is a fairly young wine, the aging process doesn’t really do much to its taste, so they don’t usually bother trying.  The name sauvignon blanc translates to “wild white” it refers to the grape and how it used to be grown in France.  It’s best paired with fish or cheese (goat is best). I also read somewhere that it is one of the few wines that goes well with sushi.

I had let the wine chill for a few hours in the fridge before I poured myself a rather generous glass.  (I wanted to be thorough).  I picked up my glass, took a sniff and swirled the wine around.  I stopped myself after I realized I was being an idiot.  What was I smelling for, why was I swirling?  I had absolutely no idea what I was supposed to get out of those tricks.  It was just something I saw in the movies.  After I gathered my thoughts I took the first sip.

First impression: not too bad.  I thought it was quite fruity, but it had a kind of sour taste to it at the end.  I had a piece of goat cheese and went for another sip.  Surprisingly, it was way better; the cheese took away that sour flavour.  My second glass was much smoother than the first, I think maybe because the wine had a chance to breathe.  I can see myself ordering this wine at a restaurant to have with appies for sure.  I don’t know that I would have it with my meal.  I think this is a good wine to serve at a party as a starter wine, something to sip while gossiping with friends.  Next week I’ll be trying a chardonnay that was ranked quite high on Wine Spectator.

Bottoms up!

Proper pairing is important when it comes to wine.  That’s why I chose Everything Wine to help steer, or pour, me in the right direction.  If you’ve never been to Everything Wine you really must go.  They have a spectacular location on Marine Drive in North Vancouver.  There are literally thousands of wines from all over the world to choose from, as well as some awesome wine accessories.  For more information you can check out their website.

Tomorrow I begin my first lesson in Wine 101.  So send me your questions!  I know I’m not the only person out there who is a vino virgin.  Just visit our CONTACT page and fill out the feedback form with any queries you have about wine.  Don’t forget to check back next Thursday for the breakdown of my first lesson.  Bottoms up!

Back in September I went to Toronto to visit friends.  I had never been and was itching to see what all the fuss was about.  Two days in I thought the big smoke was just a big joke.  I don’t know why people think it’s the centre of the universe.  I’d pick Vancouver over Toronto any day.

Now something you should know about me is that I’m addicted to pasta.  I might as well skip a step and walk around with a marinara drip in my arm.  The whole trip I was told I had to go to a certain famous Italian restaurant.  So on my last night we had girl’s night (at the restaurant that will not be named).

We had this bubbly waitress who looked like Amy Winehouse, except actually pretty.  She took our orders and then came back with bread and olive oil.  I thought this was odd, so I asked ‘Amy’ if she could bring us some vinegar.  She said no.  This was followed by an awkward silence.  How can a server turn down a request from a paying customer, and for something so small as vinegar?  I mean come on, it’s an Italian restaurant, it’s not like they don’t carry the stuff…. Read this article »

Much to the chagrin of everyone in my life I am not a wine drinker, I’m more of a martini and cocktail kind of gal.  But with a new year comes trying new things (you’d think starting a website would be enough.)

I don’t drink wine because I have absolutely no idea where to start.  Do I drink red or white?  Pinot noir or pinot gris?  What is pinot gris?  Which wine goes better with which food?  Does spending more money mean better wine?  Which country, which vintage?  These questions make my head want to explode!   But I am determined to find the answers or get drunk trying!  Either way it makes for an interesting read.  This blog is all about my adventures, or misadventures in becoming a wine connoisseur.  Hopefully I’ll be able to help those who are just as lost as I am.  Check back next week when I get my ‘grape’ popped at my first wine tasting.  Bottoms up!